Hey folks, Harry here with PART II of the Epic Sitdown
with the almighty Bruce Campbell... Watch as they continue to
talk about things and other stuff too... You'll be amazed when
you read about ______ and then when he says, "_______ ____
_____ __________" you'll howl! So get to reading you lazy
bum
Q: TELL ME ABOUT "CAPTAIN SUPERMARKET."
BC: That’s what Army of Darkness was called in Japan. It
has Campbell’s Soup labels, too. It’s like, what are these
people thinking of, man? I want the drugs that the Japanese
are taking ‘cause man oh man. They’re really colorful! Their
concepts are really kind of interesting and their photo
quality is always better than ours. They have access to better
materials or they have better equipment or something, but
every time they’ve done a poster from some of our other
movies, we always go, "Oh, wow. That’s cool!" It’s the Italian
ones that suck.
Q: IS THAT THE POSTER THAT MADE YOU LOOK LIKE ARNOLD
SCHWARZENEGGER?
BC: No, that was Dino... Dino DeLaurentiis. That was the
foreign poster used and that’s Dino’s thing. He worked with
Schwarzenegger. (In mock Dino voice) "I vant it to look like
Schwarzenegger!" It’s like, "OK... Go for it. Knock yourself
out."
Q: ARMY OF DARKNESS HAD MONEY BEHIND IT WHEREAS THE
PREVIOUS HAD MORE CREATIVE CONTROL, WHICH...
BC: Yeah, that’s the horrible trade off. The less you
have, the more control you have. So, I say make movies for
like $500,000 and under. That’s what I recommend. It’s all
about control. The only movie we’ve ever had creative control
has been Evil Dead and that was 21 years ago or whatever.
I think filmmakers get lured into the high-budget world,
then they get hit on the head with a big stick because they
realize, yeah, you get a better salary, but they can re-edit
the movie, they can retitle it, they can fire people. You
really lose a lot when you work for studios.
Q: WELL, THE EVIL DEAD SERIES IS EXTREMELY POPULAR. I
KNOW YOU’RE INVITED TO SCREENINGS OF IT ALL THE TIME. WHAT ARE
YOUR FAVORITE SCENES TO WATCH WITH THE CROWD?
BC: Of which movie?
Q: LET’S GO FOR 1, 2 AND 3.
BC: Um, in the first Evil Dead, the crowd generally
wakes up right around the time when the girl gets the pencil
in the achilles tendon, which was Rob Tapert’s idea. So,
that’s the first scene where people go, "Oh Wow! This is a
freaky ass movie!" Then it just sorta stays that way for the
rest.
I also like the sequence in Evil Dead when Ash is alone
in the cabin where things are freaking out. I think Sam sorta
hits his... We all thought he was crazy doing Dutch angles, 45
degree dutches for each shot. We thought, "This is going to be
a problem," but it worked out good. It’s probably the least
dated section of the movie, ironically.
Then Evil Dead 2, there’s lots of fun stuff. Again, I
liked Ash alone in the cabin. I liked that stuff best ‘cause
then it’s just a weirdo horror movie. Then Army of Darkness is
fun. I mean, that’s a little more of a fluff movie, but there
are some sequences in there that are a lot of fun... Yelling
at primitive screwheads and stuff I think works out all right.
Q: ONE OF THE BIGGEST ATTRACTIONS TO THE FILMS SEEMS TO
BE YOUR DIALOGUE. WHAT DO YOU GET ASKED BY FANS TO SAY THE
MOST?
BC: Oh, "Say, ‘Groovy,’" or "Give me some sugar, baby,"
you know, one of the usual ones.
Q: WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE?
BC: I don’t have a favorite.
Q: NO FAVORITE?
BC: No favorite. I leave that up to the audience. You
know, you throw out a hundred of them, hopefully they’ll like
forty of them. In the Evil Dead game that just came out,
there’s a bunch in there, too... If you get that far in the
game.
Q: THAT GAME BEAT ME MISERABLY.... I SAW A SCREENING OF
EVIL DEAD 2 A FEW YEARS AGO, IT WAS A HALLOWEEN NIGHT
SCREENING. THE PRINT WAS ALL MESSED UP, BUT THAT EVEN KINDA
ADDED TO THE...
BC: Added to the drunken stupor, yeah.
Q: EXACTLY. AND IN THE PAUSE BEFORE YOUR "GROOVY" LINE,
IT WAS COMPLETELY SILENT. THEN SOMEBODY SHOUTED FROM THE BACK,
"HE’S GONNA SAY IT!" THEN YOU SAY IT AND EVERYBODY JUST WENT
APESHIT.
BC: (laughs) I think it’s because this character is just
more irreverent than the average... (he picks up the Ash toy
in front of him)... leading... (he tries to twist the Ash
toy’s neck around) So what... nothing really works on here,
right? So you get a little bit of this (starts moving Ash’s
arm up and down) you can wave to your friends...
Um... It’s not the usual lead character in a movie.
Usually the lead character is nice and humane and, you know,
pets the dog, is nice to his girlfriend and stuff. Ash is just
basically an idiot, but you need him. You need him desperately
‘cause it’s a tough world out there. (Still turning the toy
Ash over in his hands) But it took forever to get this thing
out, didn’t it?
But they got the boots right. They were the A Solo
Brand. Those horrible boots. Sam wanted me to wear those
stupid little... I had these little loafers on in the first
one. I said, "No way. Give me some boots."
Q: WELL... LET’S SEE... FANS... THEY CAN BE CRAZY
SOMETIMES...
BC: (sarcastically) Really?
Q: I’M PRETTY SURE.
BC: That is so weird!
Q: HAVE YOU HAD ANY TERRIBLY LOONEY FAN ENCOUNTERS?
BC: No, not too bad. I have not had sexual encounters
because the characters I play are too buffoonish. You know, I
don’t get the panties in the mail because I’ve never really
played that 90210 kind of leading man. I’ve always been
buffoons or idiots or morons or jerks, so women are like, "Why
bother with him? The guy’s nothing but trouble." So, I haven’t
had any problems there.
I had one guy... um... I get the occasional scary email.
I got one from, it was an unknown sender. Everything was
unknown in the return address, and it was a woman who
professed her love so much she was listing all the horrible
things she would do to her own family on my behalf, to prove
her love to me. I was like, "Wow." That’s when it gets a
little scary. I don’t get it that much. I mean, 99% of people
are pretty cool. There was one guy taking pictures of my
house, but that’s in the documentary Fanalysis that might be
in the book!
No, fans are good. Fans are just shy. They wait 2 hours
in line and they won’t say a word to me. It’s like, now’s your
chance, ask anything you want. No, they just (lowers head,
breaking eye contact) hand it over and just sit. And yet they
look really scary. They got the black, spiked hair and giant
things piercing every orifice and they’re more shy than
scared. I think they live vicariously.
Q: YOU KIND OF ALLUDED TO THIS EARLIER, BUT SINCE THE
RIGHTS TO EACH OF THE EVIL DEAD FILMS ARE OWNED BY DIFFERENT
PEOPLE, IS THAT THE LAST NAIL IN THE EVIL DEAD SERIES’ COFFIN?
BC: No, no, but again Sam doesn’t wake up thinking of
the Evil Dead movies and neither do I. We both... The last
Evil Dead movie was 10 years ago. There’s been a lot of water
under a big bridge for all of us. I don’t know. I think it’s
great and I support the movies and I endorse the movies and
I’m glad I did the movies and I have nothing negative to say
about any of the movies. That’s a misconception. That either
Sam or me that we don’t like the movies. That’s bullshit. We
worked our ass off on those movies for 12 years. Why would I
have anything bad to say about those movies?
Evil Dead is responsible for everything that has
happened to me as an actor, so I think it’s great. But we’ve
three of them, so it’s not like we haven’t done any sequels.
We’ve already done two sequels and you know each sequel you
do... a lot of people thought Army of Darkness was a piece of
crap. The real hardcore fans are like, "Oh no! Say it ain’t
so! You sold out! It has a rating!!!" You know? (laughs)
‘Cause for us filmmakers, it’s like, OK. What else do we
need to do with this character? What else could we say? Ash in
the future, maybe. Who knows? (Still twiddling with toy Ash,
goes for the boomstick on his back). Does this thing come out
of here? (He pulls the boomstick out) Alright!
Q: HE CAN’T HOLD IT, BUT...
BC: He can’t, huh? (starts trying to put the boomstick
in Ash’s hand)
Q: MAYBE YOU’LL HAVE BETTER LUCK WITH IT THAN I DID.
BC: That’s too bad. Looks like he’s got the finger grip
for it, though. Have you really played around with this to try
to figure this out?
Q: YEAH, I’VE...
BC: Or are you just assuming?
Q: I’VE TRIED TO SET HIM UP BEFORE, TO PUT HIM AROUND MY
COMPUTER STATION.
BC: Alright, I agree. You can’t do it. OK. (plops the
toy down). So, I don’t know. If the thing presents itself for
another one, great. I just don’t think.... I think it’s aging
like fish.
Q: SO, YOU THINK IT’S PRETTY MUCH RUN ITS COURSE, THEN.
BC: I think it has. It’s not like there isn’t... I mean,
there’s a video game now for god’s sake! I’m not sure what
else we can do. Although, I’ve gotten bad feedback about the
game. I’ve got mixed feedback, is the word. Some people think
it blows.
Q: I LIKED UP TO HOW FAR I GOT ON IT, BUT THE CONTROLS
WERE A LITTLE WHACKED.
BC: Yeah, I’m not a gamer, so it’s hard for me to judge
whether it sucks or not. My son likes it. He’s a gamer.
Q: YOU’RE ALSO A PLAYER IN ANOTHER CULTY MOVIE SERIES,
THE MANIAC COP FILMS...
BC: I was only in two of them. I out priced myself after
the second one, so I get killed in the first 10 minutes.
Q: BUT YOU GET KILLED VERY WELL. IT’S AN AWESOME SCENE.
SO, HOW DID YOU GET TO BE A PART OF THE FIRST FILM?
BC: Bill Lustig contacted me. He was a big fan of Evil
Dead 2 and called and said, "Hey, you wanna come be in this
movie called Maniac Cop?" It’s like, "Yeeeahhhh. OK." It
wasn’t called Maniac Cop when we shot it, it was called
Kordel, the cheesy generic name of the... because you’re not
gonna go to New York City and ask cooperation from the police
force for a movie called Maniac Cop. It’s not gonna happen.
I actually got in trouble with the Screen Actors Guild
because of that movie. They sent me a nasty letter: "Dear
Bruce. It’s come to our attention you’ve been in a movie that
was not covered by The Guild called Maniac Cop." I’m like,
"What are you talking about? They just changed the name. They
do it all the time." So.
Yeah, I was excited to do it because it was the first
movie apart from anyone else. It was my first movie being
hired by a different director. So, those are always exciting
to do.
Q: I JUST RECENTLY SAW THE FILMS FOR THE FIRST TIME AND
THEY ARE A LOT OF FUN.
BC: I haven’t seen it in a while.
Q: TOYS. YOU WERE PLAYING WITH HIM EARLIER. YOU GOT EVIL
ASH COMING UP IN THE NEXT MCFARLANE LINE. YOU GOT THE 18" ASH
FIGURE COMING UP ALSO...
BC: The 18" Ash figure?
Q: YEAH. YOU KNOW HOW THEY DID THE MICHAEL MEYERS AND
THE FREDDY KRUEGER IN THE LAST MOVIE MANIACS LINE?
BC: Yeeeaaahhhh...
Q: WELL THERE’S AN 18" FIGURE IN THE NEXT MOVIE MANIACS
LINE.
BC: Of this one, or of Evil Ash?
Q: IT’S GONNA BE THE REGULAR ASH. THE EVIL ASH IS GOING
TO BE THAT SIZE.
BC: Oh, OK.
Q: I BELIEVE IT’S THE PIT SCENE FROM ARMY OF DARKNESS.
BC: Which would be this.
Q: BASICALLY, BUT APPARENTLY HE CAN ACTUALLY HOLD THE
BOOMSTICK NOW.
BC: Really? OK. Good. There’s an Autolycus action
figure. So I got bunch of little me’s running around.
Q: YES. BRUCE CAMPBELL THE NEXT POKEMON. GOTTA BUY ‘EM
ALL.
BC: Yeah.
Q: JUST HOW COOL IS HAVING YOUR OWN TOYS?
BC: I think it’s alright. I think it’s fine, but I don’t
know how to relate to it. Everyone goes, "What’s it like?
What’s it like?" I don’t know. What if you saw a little you
running around? What would you do? Would you go.... What do I
do? Worship it? What should I do? I’m amused by it. I’m
entertained by it. I’m glad there’s enough interest to have a
figurine, but my Autolycus figure, he’s a little paperweight
in my office. This has a good weight actually (tests the
weight of Ash), so I could use this as a paperweight. Maybe I
will.
But I think I’ll just keep mine in my box and sell it on
Ebay in about 10 years. Then people will say, "That’s a fake
signature!" I’ve seen my fake signature on Ebay. There’ s a
lot of fake crap out there. People gotta be really careful.
That’s why you should go to the conventions for when the book
comes out. You’ll get a real autograph. That’s the only way to
be sure. If you see crap on the internet signed by... I mean I
have a crappy signature, but these are really crappy. I can
tell which is mine. I know my scrawl.
Q: YOU DIRECTED SOME XENA AND HERCULES STUFF.
BC: Yeah and a couple of VIP episodes as well.
Q: HOW WAS IT TO STEP BEHIND THE CAMERA AND INFLICT THE
PAIN INSTEAD OF RECEIVE IT?
BC: It was great. (laughs) It was a lot of fun. Naw,
directing is great because it really makes your day go fast.
As an actor, you know, in between your scenes you just want to
find a big, fat book and kill time because you’re not involved
in the whole movie. You know, shot here, a shot here, a scene
here, a scene there, but as a directory, you’re involved in
everything.
It’s great because it’s a chance to be the director that
I’ve always wanted as an actor. Someone who communicates.
Someone who’s prepared, someone who can troubleshoot really
well. Someone who knows how to talk to actors. You’d be amazed
how many directors there are who have no idea what to say to
an actor. They’ll just stand next to them before a shot and
go, "(long pause and then a deep exhale) OK.... well. So,
everything going OK?" "Yeah, fine. Thanks." "OK, good! (claps
his hands) Well, let’s go!"
Q: I’VE HEARD SOME WORD THAT CHRIS CARTER WANTS YOU TO
BE IN AND/OR DIRECT SOME EPISODES OF THE LONE GUNMEN.
BC: There’s been some real loose talk about that. I
mean, I had one conversation with Chris about that, but
nothing’s happened yet. I think with these shows they want to
get them up and get them on the air and once they know they
have a following, they can experiment with other directors.
That’s the standard procedure. The first 13 episodes of any TV
show are going to get THE top directors. They’re gonna get the
guys that the networks know they can totally trust, men or
women. They always play their strong hand to get the show up
and going, then after that they can fool around.
Q: WOULD THAT BE SOMETHING YOU’D BE OPEN TO DOING?
BC: Of course. I want to do more directing, so it
doesn’t matter to me what the show is really. I mean, I’ll go
back and do more VIPs, I don’t care.
Q: AWESOME... LET’S SEE. YOU DID LOTS OF...
BC: See how fast he skipped over VIP? This is a modern
day show with Pamela Anderson, a hit TV show. No questions
whatsoever about that. OK, go ahead.
Q: WELL IF YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT, GO RIGHT AHEAD.
BC: No, no. It’s just, look... TV is TV.
Q: YOU DID LOTS OF BEHIND THE SCENES STUFF ON THE FIRST
EVIL DEAD...
BC: I was one of the producers...
Q: DIDN’T YOU ALSO WORK ON THE SOUND AND CUT THE
TRAILER?
BC: Yeah, we did a lot of stuff. I did my own footsteps,
we were... Sam and I were very involved in making sound
effects, creating sound effects. ‘Cause that was the Super 8
way, that’s the independent way. You do everything. That’s how
you learn it, by doing it.
Q: SO, DID THAT EXPERIENCE HELP YOU MAKE THE TRANSITION
TO BEING A DIRECTOR?
BC: Yeah, I’ve always been... I mean, I’ve spent as much
time behind the camera as I have in front, so it’s not strange
to me at all. I remember sitting in the first production
meeting of doing my first Hercules episode back in ‘94. It was
like, "This feels normal." First day of shooting was like
normal. It wasn’t some big thing where I was barfing all night
before because I was terrified. Or I got onto the set and was
frozen. I mean, I knew exactly what I wanted to do, so it
wasn’t a big transition.
Q: I GREW UP WATCHING BRISCO COUNTY JR....
BC: You’re the one!
Q: THAT’S RIGHT. HOW DID YOU GET TO DO THAT?
BC: I had to audition my butt off for that and you’ll
find that little story in the book as well. I had to audition
six times, each time going further up the ladder. You know,
‘cause for network TV, they don’t just give you the part. Even
the leads, you gotta meet and go through the whole shenanigans
and I had not done really any TV at that point, so they had no
idea who I was.
The Evil Deads... yeah, they were culty... they’re cult
films, but they’re not really well known. Even within the
industry, they’re like, "Evil Dead? What’s that?" So, I had to
crawl through glass to get that.
Q: LIKE THE HUDSUCKER PROXY ROLE, YOU SEEMED TO FALL
EASILY INTO THE ROLE OF A WISECRACKING GUNSLINGER. (mouth,
who’s manning one of the cameras starts to lightly cough,
trying to hold it in)
BC: Yeah, it was fun. I had to learn how to do cowboy
stuff and fortunately I had a good wrangler who taught me how
to ride and good stunt guys. It was like it was a whole new
challenge and that was fun. It was learning whole new tricks.
Instead of shotguns and stuff it was spinning six-guns and
jumping on running horses and jumping off of running horses
and rearing and racing and stuff. (Mouth can’t hold it any
longer and lets out a few muffled coughs).
Let’s just stop. Go ahead and cough! Get it all out!
Cough-cough-cough-cough-cough-cough-cough. It’s OK. You
inflict far more pain if you try to keep yourself from
coughing. Man, this is just the internet. This could go on
forever. It doesn’t matter.
Q: AND IT WILL! R. LEE ERMEY PLAYED YOUR FATHER IN
BRISCO COUNTY, RIGHT?
BC: Yeah. Uh-huh.
Q: WHAT WAS HE LIKE TO WORK WITH?
BC: R. Lee Ermey was just a great guy. Most people think
of him as a badass from some of his other parts he played.
He’s just like this soft spoken, quiet guy. I had never seen
anything else he did when I worked with him, so to me I had
no... I didn’t see Full Metal Jacket, I didn’t see any of
that. So it was great. He was a really nice guy.
John Astin was great because he was my hero ‘cause I
watched the Addam’s Family and working with him was like... I
just watched. We’d just sit around and talk about stuff.
Q: MY FAIR SPANISH MAIDEN FOUND ME AN EPISODE OF BRISCO
THAT SHE HAD RECORDED AMONGST A BUNCH OF OTHER STUFF BACK IN
THE DAY AND THERE WAS GOMEZ. I HAD JUST COMPLETELY FORGOTTEN
THAT HE WAS IN THE SERIES.
BC: Yeah, yeah. Columbia House Video is putting them out
now.
Q: REALLY?
BC: Yep. So people now no longer have to get bootlegs of
crappy copies that you buy on the internet. Now you can buy
‘em from Columbia House Video. I’m going to do the liner notes
for ‘em, for each little episode.
Q: NOW IT’S TIME FOR MY TRADEMARK QUESTION...
BC: (In a high, annoying voice) "If you were a tree,
what kind of tree would you be?"
Q: ACTUALLY... NO, NO... WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE DIRTY
JOKE?
BC: My favorite dirty joke? There’s too many jokes.
That’s the problem... favorite dirty joke...
Q: OR THE ONE THAT POPS INTO MIND, WHICH IS USUALLY WHAT
I GET.
BC: Yeah, exactly. It’s not the favorite, it’s the one
that pops up. Um... wow... there was one I just heard the
other day, but it’s too long and I’d forget it halfway
through. I don’t know. I have no idea. After I leave, after
we’re done, I’ll have it for you, but I don’t... My dad’s like
a joke magnet. My dad can remember every joke that’s ever been
told to him.
Q: THAT’S ALRIGHT... BESIDES WHAT WE TALKED ABOUT
EARLIER IN THE INTERVIEW, DO YOU HAVE ANYTHING ELSE IN THE
WORKS?
BC: What more do you want, for God’s sake!?!? I get this
all the time, (same high, annoying voice as before) "Hey,
Bruce. I’m sorry you’re not working very much." It’s like,
"Shut up! I work all the time." Then overseas it’s like,
"Well, I never see any of your stuff." It’s like, "Well, I
can’t help it if you live in Botswana. I mean, what can I tell
ya’? You’ll get it eventually." Even England, territories like
that, they don’t get a lot of the stuff that’s made.
Eventually you’ll be able to see everything. Once technology
comes around a little bit more.
So, I don’t know. I’m looking forward to life after the
book, actually. It’s been a four year ordeal and it’s great to
give birth to it and get it out there. That is my gift to the
fans because I want them to see the reality of the industry.
There’s too much falseness, there’s too much fakeness, there’s
too much protection, there’s too much insulation. It’s a very
weird, fascinating outrageous business that’s both good and
bad. I want to take readers through that and let them really
see what’s going on ‘cause the average person has no idea what
happens in the film business or how things happen or why
things happen.
People think there’s such a logic to it. It’s such a
willy-nilly industry as experienced by this writer’s strike.
No one even knows if the strike is going to happen and
everyone is freaking out and making as many movies as they
can. That’s so Hollywood. I don’t know. I’ll take life brand
new after the book is officially done and then we’ll see what
happens there, but I’m busy until August, so that’s enough for
me.
Q: IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE YOU WANNA TALK ABOUT THAT WE
HAVEN’T COVERED ALREADY? MAYBE MORE VIP STUFF?
BC: (laughs)
Q: HOW WAS PAMELA ANDERSON TO WORK WITH? (laughs)
BC: Pamela Anderson is... she’s nobody’s fool. She’s
very comfortable in that world and there’s certain
requirements of any TV show of how you shoot stuff. So, the
trick with that show is try and fold in and see how it all
works.
Q: HAS THE EPISODE YOU’VE DIRECTED AIRED YET?
BC: Yeah, both of ‘em. I directed two, they both aired.
(Bruce looks to the main camera) I’m sure you saw it out
there! Naw... hopefully there’ll be new stuff to talk about
when there’s new stuff, but now is the time for work and
eventually everything’ll start coming out and then you can
talk about it after it’s about to come out. Right now it’s all
just... I mean, Spider-Man is not going to be until 2002. I’ll
be an older person by the time that thing comes out.
The same with this Jim Carrey movie, The Majestic. You
never know. That might not come out for a year either. It’s so
weird when you’re working on movies. All of a sudden I’ll get
a phone call, "Hey, I saw your movie last night!" You did? I
didn’t know it was on! You know some TV thing that was airing.
I don’t know.
Q: SO YOUR BOOK IS COMING OUT IN JUNE.
BC: Comin’ out in June, St. Martin’s Press, but it may
be a LA Weekly book that’s under St. Martin’s Press. The
official title is: If Chins Could Kill Confessions of a B
Movie Actor.
Q: AWESOME. SO, PEOPLE SHOULD JUST KEEP AN EYE ON YOUR
WEBSITE.
BC: Yeah, they can check the website, which is Bruce-Campbell.Com,
so if you can spell my name right, CAMP-BELL, you’ll get
there. There may actually be a dedicated book site which is BruceCampbellBook.Com.
(SEAMAN SIDE NOTE: NOT MUCH ON THE SITE AS OF RIGHT NOW, BUT
KEEP AN EYE ON IT AND BRUCE’S HOMEPAGE FOR MORE DETAILS ON THE
BOOK) That way you can track it. You can read exerts. We’re
putting that together right now.
Q: COOL. BUSY GUY, BUT IT’S ALL FOR...
BC: It’s all for da kids, all for da kids.
There you have it, squirties. As you well know by now,
that interview was all over the place, but damn if it isn’t
fun. Do you want to meet Bruce? Check out his website like he
said and see if he’s coming to your town with his book. I can
tell you this, he’ll be appearing in Austin the weekend of
June 28th-30th at the Alamo Drafthouse Cinema to
premiere his documentary, Fanalysis, do a book signing and,
yes, even introduce the midnight screening of Evil Dead 2.
This info might change as the date gets closer, so you locals
(or those willing to drive) out there keep your eye on DRAFTHOUSE.COM.
Hope you ladies and gentlemen enjoyed the interview.
Keep yer eye on the horizon, squirties. I just brought up from
the deep a treasure chest filled with scripts that I’ll be
tellin’ ya about, not to mention a few more interviews to
share with ye. ‘Til then, squirts, this is the crusty seaman,
Quint, bidding you a fine farewell and adieu.
-Quint
You Jealous? Well I
can do your job, Bill Maher's job and Harry's job while
sitting on the john floating my infants you squirrely
bastages!
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