Ash Plissken
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« Reply #1 on: June 13, 2008, 02:22:30 AM » |
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Heres mine...
I was looking at my junk in the mirror when I looked up to see the window behind me so then I went to the living room to find a damned undead puppet of our dark lord the Mourning Star or space gas ( fucking Romero ) eating some of those cheap ass like 35 cent burritos, ya know the ones you get when your poor , on my freaking futon! I says to the Johnny Carson looking zombie "Hells no." and then I punched myself in the chin for talking like a gang member. (I'm white mind you) So here comes Johnny ( sorry I had to ) coming right towards me , when out of nowhere I realize hey I didn't put my pants back on.So since zombies are truly slow ,unlike in the horrible remake of Dawn of the Dead and the crappy ass 28 days/ weeks later films, I gave myself a shrieking break to get my wrangles,can't kick ass without em.My return to the room had given me some new answers like why did I think wrangles were the only good pants to have for a fight, dress pants equally cool if not even better, and why the zombie is now a paraplegic on my floor? But I had no time for dilly dallying so I went back to the bathroom.Halfway through pissing I thought If theres one zombie then that means hey where'd he come from.So I zipped up before I was done and ran outside to witness a Rodney King reenactment with undead illegals,a couple of sticks , and a beagle. It wasn't long before I got pissed that they were in my lawn again so I called the cops they sorted everything out, the reason for the re-animated outbreak ,I'm told anyways, is none of my fuckin business.I then realized I've been sitting in a comfy chair writing what is most likely crap ,that i'll regret for a while, for Pretend there's a zombie attack happening where you live day.I get bored easy and sorry that it doesn't make sense its supposed to though ,and also Ash doesn't fight zombies he fights as we all know the Necronomicon, possessions not crap like Super Monkey virus, but however I made my story flexible enough for Ash to appear in it when I talked about the father of Damien.So if ya want imagine Bruce Campbell rolling around some houses chopping zombies up in England with pal Simon Pegg, oh one can only dream.
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